What’s in YOUR photo list?

I was looking at the photos on my phone the other day and realized something - I have got a lot of photos of cats. Cats lounging. Cats sleeping. Cats eating. Cats sitting on the catio. Most of them are of my cats, but I’ve also got pictures of clients cats.

Let’s face it. I may be an animal communicator who speaks to all species, but I loooooove cats. 

Dog lovers, don’t be upset. You gerbil caretakers, I appreciate your pet too. I’ve talked to my share of reptiles and they’re fascinating.

But there’s something about cats.

Maybe because so many people think they’re mysterious / creepy / unfriendly / hard-to-understand.

I’ve always had an affinity for cats. I was born in the Chinese year of the Tiger - that might be a clue. A lot of horse people I know were born in the Chinese year of the Horse. My brother, who isn’t really interested in horses all that much, has a way with them that I have never had. Born in the year of the Horse, he was. 

One myth I want to dispel for all of you who are maybe not as much a cat fan as I am - cats are not unfriendly. If you could have seen the smooze-fest going on with me and my cat this morning, you would probably gag. But he is so loving, and so willing to play the game “kiss” - in fact, he has started initiated it.

The cat who plays “kiss” also thinks boxes are the Best. Toy. Ever.

So here’s how it goes. I pet him and say “kiss?” And then he bumps his head against my lips and I kiss him between the ears. We will play this game incessantly. He never seems to get tired of it.

Cats are excellent at showing how trauma can affect us, because they are pretty up front about how they feel (yes, really!) Dogs, bless their hearts, want to ingratiate themselves with us, and will forgive misdemeanors and even downright cruelty in a fairly rapid way.

Cats, on the other hand, want you to know that all is not well, whether you were the perpetrator or not. They forgive, and sometimes they will even trust again. But they want you to pay attention.

Our cat Jackson is an excellent example. We adopted him from a local shelter, and he had been part of a semi-feral hoarding situation. When he first came to us he was sort-of sociable, and would sort-of strop against your leg, but if you bent down to stroke him he’d dart away. He wouldn’t come on the bed. He thought the couches were torture chambers if there were humans anywhere in the vicinity. The only one he was willing to hang out with was our cat Lynkx. Over time, Lynkx taught him that cuddles were nice, and it was okay to be on the bed. 

The bed is O.K.

He’s been with us for four years, and Jackson to this day hates being picked up. It can be done in an emergency, but don’t look for him to ask you to pick him up and cuddle. He always needs an exit strategy, and being held really puts a crimp on that. However, he has learned that being on the bed can be a good thing, that petting is actually quite nice, and a time or two he’s even sort-of laid down in a lap. The exit strategy is never far away, though. I don’t know what happened to him as a kitten, but he has got some powerful protective measures in place. The fact that he’s the reincarnation of our cat Tolstoy doesn’t seem to make a difference. He has different things to learn in this life. Trust is a big one. (Tolstoy, interestingly, was never much of a lap cat, either. He preferred to lay on the back of the couch or a chair, close but not touching. Hmmm, maybe Jackson is more like his former self than I realized.)

Each animal species has its strengths and weaknesses, and ways of relating to us. They are all magnificent teachers. I think cats are among the best teachers because they take no prisoners and really want us to “get” it. Whatever that is. So next time a cat gives you “the look”, take a look inside yourself and see what’s going on. And then see if they’ll play “kiss”.